When involved partners share their feelings on this level, they are letting their betrayed spouse inside their mind and re-forging their bond. Through discussions with his wife, Lisa, Les figured out how he let himself be drawn into an affair with Fiona, a new colleague at work. So what can we do now that would make a difference after the cheating? He was moved by her tale of a distressed marriage, a disabled child, and a terminally ill father who lived with her. For more click 6. If you are the betrayed partner, make a strong effort to hear the story without filtering it through your own subjective lens. How could it go on so long if you knew it was wrong? There are all kinds of reasons for not stepping over the line that would normally stop you from entering a forbidden territory. Did you have unprotected sex?
Do you still want me in your life? Did you ever think of leaving me? Did you think about me at all? Know that these feelings related to the cheating have a beginning, middle, and end. If you both are comfortable with hugging again, do make that a part of your daily rituals. Many factors can underlie the decision to be unfaithful. Your anticipation of this will drag you down. That may prevail, even though you are both have committed to the long hours or travel to support the family. The hurt partner will feel a sense of betrayal that the cheating occurred. Are you willing to be patient as I learn how to forgive you? How long did it last? These memories can explode into consciousness bringing it all back. Simply put, unfaithful partners seldom anticipate the tragic consequences or the pain they inflict. How in the world do we do that? Neither of you could anticipate the devastation this has created. He vowed that in the future, he would erect distinct boundaries with unhappy, attractive women who touched his kind heart. Not every couple takes the time or has the guidance and support to work through betrayals that have occurred before. Discuss how you or your partner handled previous temptations, even if no lines were crossed. They not only are discussing what occurred, but together they are gaining insight into the underlying dynamics. Some unfaithful partners give an adolescent rationale: Knowing the intensity has stages will help you ride through them. Yes, if the betraying spouse expresses remorse and seeks help to understand what led to the affair and break the marital vow. Questions for Both Partners to ask Do you think we can repair our relationship? In counseling, couples learn that they not only can recover from an extramarital affair but they can thrive by building a new relationship that they did not know was possible. Click for more on calling timeouts. Research by Shirley Glass , who has explored the dynamics of the aftermath of cheating, show clearly that surviving an affair is very possible for couples who seek the right help and are committed to the healing process.
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Tips on questions to ask your partner after an affair in your relationship
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