It's important to evaluate whether your partner has really changed his cheating ways and what's more, that you trust him. What happens if you come out of that phase and find that jealousy has survived intact? If your boyfriend has a history of cheating, on you or with other partners, then your insecurity may be well-justified, says Abell. Of course you can ask him not to see exes, or to destroy his photos but he may not want to or he may feel that you are being too demanding. Craig is now 24 and says that I am the one and that he would like to spend his life with me but I can't stop thinking about him having been with his exes and can't seem to get over it.
It will save you a lot of heartache further down the line. Finally, you are probably sick of wasting your time focusing on the past when it is irrelevant to your current relationship. Focus on the Present Focus on everything you love about your boyfriend and your relationship in order to stop letting your insecurities control you. I trust that nothing is going on, but I don't know if I can get over the fact that Craig has been with other people in the past. It's counter-productive to demand he shut out his exes. Still, it's most important to air your fears. I will also be posting on comments submitted by other readers. The next time a thought about his ex tries to creep into your mind, say "Stop! Only you can decide that. Which means you have to deal with the dreaded ex factor. What you need to work out is whether your jealousy is well placed or whether it is more to do with your own insecurity? Jealousy can often come from feelings of inadequacy. If you really long for a committed, monogamous relationship — someone you can love and be loved by — then make sure that you chose to date someone who shares the same vision as you. We have flair for men, women, trans folks, and gender neutral people. But then we get into the same child-like defences that we had at a much younger age. Just knowing he is aware of the challenge you face will help you feel closer to him and strengthen your relationship. But you can break free. Has that changed for him now? I asked Craig about it and told him it made me unhappy that he still had these photos but he told me that he didn't want to erase his past like that and delete them. What lies behind this anxiety? Links MUST be accompanied by a summary. I try and talk to him about it but he says to stop being silly as he doesn't think about them anymore and that he loves me. But first reflect on its cause -- whether it's justified or if it stems from insecurity. He needs to feel like he can be open and honest without resorting to sharing every little detail. What happens if you come out of that phase and find that jealousy has survived intact?
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How To Handle An Insecure Guy
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