There are many reasons why people have difficulty letting go of the past and reversing the painful consequences of their past, writes Dr. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. Gain awareness of the emotions you experience about your past hurt. Luskin believes that individuals heal best when they react as if the injury happened to a close friend. Accept that people do the best they can and attempt to be more understanding. Write down three ways your hurt feelings have impacted or are still impacting your life.
According to author Deborah Moskovitch , forgiveness is not letting someone off the hook. Practice forgiveness by thinking like a forgiving person. Studies show that letting hostility fester can lead to depression, anxiety, cardiovascular issues, immune system problems, and higher risk of stroke. Luskin believes that individuals heal best when they react as if the injury happened to a close friend. This will validate their feelings and promote forgiveness and allow you both to move on. However, forgiveness takes time and has a lot to do with letting go of those things you have no control over. Gain awareness of the emotions you experience about your past hurt. Write down three ways your hurt feelings have impacted or are still impacting your life. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email. Challenge your beliefs and self-defeating thoughts about holding on to hurt feelings. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. Accept that people do the best they can and attempt to be more understanding. Take small steps to let go of grudges or grievances. Talking to a close friend or therapist can help facilitate this process. Experts believe that forgiving an ex can allow you to break the cycle of pain, move on with your life, and to embrace healthier relationships after divorce. Practicing forgiveness allows you to turn the corner from feeling like a victim to becoming a more empowered person. People hold grudges due to both real and fancied wrong doing. Repair the damage by finding ways to soothe hurt feelings. Keep the big picture in mind. However, the importance of forgiveness takes on a new meaning after divorce because no one marries with the intent of divorcing so hurt and shame can run deep. Find a way to dislodge yourself from negative emotions. Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph. Your letter might read something like: Forgiving is one way of letting go of your baggage so that you can heal and move forward with your life. You simply come to a more realistic view of your past. After all, we are all imperfect.
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