She should also consider who should and should not attend the service with her. Private and Public Services The obituary will state if the funeral is private and limited to invited guests. Choosing to Attend the Funeral If the ex-wife maintained a positive relationship with her former spouse after their separation, she is likely to want to attend to pay her respects. Former without spitting, then your attendance is unlikely to cause her additional grief. If not attending, it is appropriate for the ex-wife to send a sympathy card or flowers. Arrive in plenty of time to be seated before the service begins. Article Continued Below Even if the kids want you there, however, there are other people to consider.
Bar mitzvah is about the boy. When in doubt, proper etiquette suggests that the ex-wife should contact the family before the funeral to offer condolences and ask permission to attend. The funeral should be supportive first and foremost to the current spouse of the deceased and his family and friends. It is not appropriate for the ex-wife to sit in the row intended for immediate family unless she is specifically invited to do so. Even if you are not on good terms with the family, you should send a note of sympathy. If not attending, it is appropriate for the ex-wife to send a sympathy card or flowers. Expressing Condolences Whether you attend the funeral or not, some expression of condolences to the bereaved is always appropriate. Sometimes the presence of the surviving parent can be a source of comfort; in other families, such a visitation can be emotionally confusing, opening old wounds when everyone is already vulnerable and sad. Attending the Funeral When deciding whether or not to even attend the service, your decision should be guided by the relationship you had with your ex-husband and his family. You are there as a guest; you are not a member of the family. By Ken Gallinger Ethically speaking columnist Sat. So ask your kids; it really is that simple. Will they be glad to see you? If you are on friendly terms, an offer of help with food or details of the arrangement is considerate. If the ex-wife has remarried, it is not always appropriate for her current spouse to attend. Former without spitting, then your attendance is unlikely to cause her additional grief. They are already going through the worst thing a parent can endure; does your presence make it easier or harder? The key players are your children and grandchildren. A wedding is for the bride. When the deceased is separated or divorced, there can be some confusion regarding the attendance of the ex-spouse. What should you say -- if anything -- to his family? Article Continued Below Even if the kids want you there, however, there are other people to consider. With all that said, one more word from a guy who performed nearly 1, funerals. Funerals offer loved ones the opportunity to pay respect to the deceased and to comfort relatives and friends. Private and Public Services The obituary will state if the funeral is private and limited to invited guests. If the funeral is listed as public, or not specifically listed as private, she may attend but should consider how her appearance may affect others in attendance.
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