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But those days were rare. He was so gracious about it, and faintly amused or pretended to be that, when a similar thing happened to me, the other way round, how could I not behave in the same way? My people will talk to the palace people…have no fear. But I went ahead. Had I been so dreadfully profligate that I deserved this frightful demotion? My childhood Christmases were always spent visiting my school, hosted by the headmistress, my great aunt Rene. There was never any wine or crackers. So I wrote him an email.


Recently I went for the third time, taking my older grandson. Like most little girls I wanted to be like all the other little girls, and all the other little girls were wearing dresses with puffed sleeves and smocking in the front, with fitted tweed coats with velvet collars and most of them had an Alice band over their infrequently-washed hair. My people will talk to the palace people…have no fear. It was a man in grubby jeans and a stained teeshirt, who revealed he was an undercover plain clothes policeman who had stayed behind. Had I known this, at the first sign of retinal detachment I would have gone to Moorfields far earlier and could have been spared all this Quasimodo stuff in the first place. The man was mesmerising. Taking a break for a lie-down at a dinner party recently with a bad back, a very nice cat came in. Following retinal surgery, I had to have a further operation to stitch my eye to support the cataract lens that had slipped. They are, rightly, pre-occupied with life and the living of it. After arriving at the door, usually gasping from having been summoned from the top of the house, I enquire coldly whether they can read their bibles. Round one to her. Even I as a young girl was sent to the fishmongers on hot days to get slabs of ice for our ice-box. I want some bang for my bucks. There was a recent report that revealed that pet cats feel just the same anxieties as caged lions. And jobs were easier to get — for the few who were well-enough educated to get them. After going home and not going out for a week, unable even to get dressed I felt so despairing, I made an appointment to see a cranial osteopath. The email he had written to me six months previously featured a photograph underneath his name. Lucky black cats had to be ignored. Just to show them. I usually stagger down the stairs, shouting, like a mad old lady: It started with the numbers My grandmother had always wanted to go on the stage and she knew what was good. The next time I met the nutter, he was banging on about fluoride in the drinking water and insisting we drink bottled water or risk having our brains fried. To them, I might simply be the old arthritic female patient in Room I just wanted to say: So I emailed the other appointment. His glass is empty.


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2 thoughts on “Demasculated”


14.01.2018 at 10:12 pm

I had a kip on it, exhausted with panic exposure and misery.

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